4/19/2021 Little Man, Big Problem
Just over a year ago, when Adam and I were camped outside a very small town, a neighboring camper offered to take me into the town 20 miles away so that I could go to the supermarket. He was going anyway for his own errands, so I readily agreed, being eager for some fresh fruits, vegetables, and meat versus the canned varieties available at the local dollar store. On our way back, we came to a roundabout, the traffic circles they're putting in intersections now to reduce the severity of collisions. Before the roundabout, the road had been four lanes, but after it, it would be narrowing to two lanes for the remainder of the trip back. As we're approaching the roundabout, out of the blue, he's telling me about how if you see a man driving a really big truck, 100% of the time, he's overcompensating for a small penis. As a side note, I have to wonder what that says, if anything, about semi-truck drivers. Anyway, we're in the roundabout, which is two lanes, and there's another truck in front of us, and as we're coming out of the roundabout, he puts the gas pedal to the floor and guns it to get around this other truck, and with a smirk, he says, "Didn't wanna be stuck behind that guy the rest of the way." Meanwhile, that small penis comment is still ringing in my head, and between that and the display of machismo to "get around that other guy," I'm thinking, "Oh, kind of like you?"
Note that the two-lane country highway had plenty of dotted yellow, that is, opportunities to pass, later on. I guess if he was going to do it anyway, it would be safer at the roundabout than crossing into oncoming traffic to do it. Still, by making the "overcompensation" comment, he was clearly trying to demonstrate his intellectual superiority, but that little factoid is probably older than cars themselves. It just made him look real dumb...and desperate. Way to go, fella. At 5'6", I'm probably a couple inches taller than him, and he drives a pretty big truck, by the way. I should add that I pretty much opened the door for this kind of commentary, and this wasn't the last comment he made to me about sex or genitals. It's one thing when the topic comes up, but it's another when you can tell that the person is forcing it just because they want to say "penis" or "sex," so that your mind is drawn to that subject in association with themselves. It takes one to know one sometimes, and in my past, I pulled the same crap to draw male attention. Later, after I quit my job and followed Adam into the, then, dark unknown of freedom, it took me a long time, too long if you ask me, to make any decent effort at breaking the psychological ties to that world and way of thinking. The second half of that last sentence is pretty loaded and is another post of its own, but for my purposes here, I'll say that I wanted to, and did, believe that I wasn't something that I actually was. Back to the sex commentary, I honestly don't remember the full context of the situation. I think he and Adam and I were all standing around talking, and he had brought up sex in some way while relating a story to us and maybe apologized for the awkwardness of the subject, and that's when I said something to the effect of, "I think adults should be able to discuss sex without it getting weird." While it is true, that I think that, I have accepted now how much farther from that reality we are than I previously wanted to, and therefore did, believe. I think that opened the floodgates in his puny little mind. Another time, on another trip into town, he told me about a hitchhiker he picked up once, and she didn't have any money to contribute for gas, so she "paid" him with, and I quote, "A night of passionate love-making." Then he explained to me that when you were hitchhiking in the 70s, it was common to hold out a sign that said, "Ass, Gas, or Grass," indicating that you would be willing to "pay" for your ride with sex, money, or marijuana. I'm not sucking your dick for taking me to the grocery store, dude. That doesn't really add up to me--wouldn't it be the driver with a sign like that, indicating their "accepted forms of payment?" Turns out, I'm right. I looked it up so that I could find an image for this post, and if you do the same, you'll note that almost every single image includes the tagline, "No one rides for free." He conveniently left that part out. Not to mention, with hitchhiking, why do you have to pay for your ride? The person is going that way anyway, so why do they need compensation for doing a favor. I think we're really misunderstanding the concept of a favor, here. I noticed that he always made sure Adam wasn't around when he made these types of comments to me. Comments are closed.
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