4/12/2021 Clash Sucks
I'll just start off by saying that I was very addicted to Clash of Clans for various reasons. For the uninitiated, Clash of Clans is a game that can be downloaded to one's Android or Apple device. It is part of a score of games known as "mobile gaming" or "micro-transaction gaming." There is quite a bit about personal weaknesses and the game itself that made me do things that, with a right mind, I would disagree with, but because of aforementioned weaknesses, I continued anyway. I talk about the weaknesses throughout as and when they relate to the point.
I played the game, on average, for about 25 hours per week. Most of that wasn't so much "playing" the game, there's really not much to "do" in the game (dumb), rather, I was often filling up the chat feature of the game with every little stupid thought that entered my head. Mainly so that I could get that little shot of dopamine every time someone replied, "lol," and it happened often because I was intentionally trying to make people laugh. As a side note, it occurred to me the other day that the concept of "making" people laugh is a little violent. A little forceful, don't you think? I mean, I understand the concept: when you say something funny and the other person can't help but laugh, but if you get into the semantics, to "make" someone laugh is different than giving someone the gift of laughter. Just sayin. I was definitely opening that app to *make* people laugh for my own selfish satisfaction. When I look back on it, I feel my blood pressure rise a little bit, and my neck feels a little "drunk," for lack of a better descriptor. Similar to being embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that for so long (4 years) I was obsessed with making these people laugh. Hopefully by the end of this writing, you'll understand why I am so embarrassed and ashamed for associating with these people. I knew better, but I did it anyway for reasons that are also outside the scope of this post. |
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