1/25/2024 Never Stop for a Bitch with a Clipboard
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Yesterday, 24 January 2024, I visited a local food pantry, and upon exiting, found myself passing a table set up under a tent with more foods and a couple boxes of socks. There were two women sitting at the table, one of whom is alternatingly hostile and friendly toward me whenever I encounter her. She volunteers at two pantries in town, both of which I occasionally visit, and at one of them, she makes fun of me, tries to make me look stupid in front of other people, and at the other, she is as friendly and warm as you might expect from a stranger who is in a good mood and enjoying what they're doing. She's downright pleasant. The other woman was said to be "from The City," presumably a city employee. They were apparently taking surveys of the homeless, or "people without permanent housing," as they euphemistically put it. All my defensive pricklies were immediately activated, and I hesitantly agreed to take their survey. The city woman asked me the questions. First question: your name? Second question: last initial? Third question: your birthday? I told her the month and day. Fourth question: year? I hesitated again, but apparently I just said, "fuck it." because even though I was uncomfortable giving her this information, I gave it to her anyway. I guess my best explanation is a lack of self-confidence and fear of authority. I actually thought to say, "is that really necessary?" but instead told her the year. I was very uncomfortable the whole time. While I don't usually mind sharing information about my experiences, I don't trust these people to not use this information against me--against Adam. It occurred to me that the whole setup may well have been a data-mining operation, specifically targeted to glean information about Adam and myself under the guise of collecting information about the homeless "so that we can prove that we actually do help"... that sentence sort of drifted off, and I didn't ask for specifics. At the time, I figured that anything I have to say, they already know. What occurred to me while knitting is that this information could and would be construed against Adam.
There were of course, several easy-to-consider questions like how long you've been homeless; do you live in a tent or in a vehicle; do you stay in the forest, by a river or lake, on BLM land; how long have you been in this county; do you have a job; how do you receive income (families/friends help, job, panhandling, etc.) and so on. Then came the section that is the most troubling. Have you ever experienced domestic violence. How did you become homeless (religious/cultural differences with others in your previous living arrangement, family made you become homeless, could not pay rent, escaping domestic abuse, etc). Do you experience any of the following (addiction to drugs or alcohol, debilitating pain, post-traumatic stress, domestic violence, etc.).
It felt like a lot of focus on domestic violence, and I was puzzled by this. Hours later, at home, knitting, it suddenly occurred to me exactly how the information might be used. As it turns out, Adam and I have both experienced domestic abuse. When we lived with his mother and brother, his mother constantly berated us both verbally and often abused me physically. Slaps to the face, once while holding her keys, pulling my hair, locking me out of the house. Once, when she was so enraged upon coming home to find me vacuuming the stairs, she tried to push me down those stairs. Adam, of course, was always swift to intervene, pull her off of me, and calm her down. I told this to the city woman asking me the questions. Immediately after saying, "actually, yeah" to the domestic violence yes or no question, I said, "but not from my boyfriend. His mom tried to push me down some stairs once." No one said anything or wrote anything down. Next question. So you can see here, without any of the details included and out of context, on paper, I'm in a relationship with Adam and have experienced domestic violence. What occurred to me while knitting is that this information could and would be construed against Adam, even though the only information of his on the form is that I, a female of a certain age range, live with a male of a certain age range. To most people, it doesn't really matter what the truth is, they hear domestic violence, and boom: automatically the image of a man beating a woman enters their mind. Reality depicts a far different image. People don't seem to think women capable of abuse. Sure, when confronted, they'll say, "no, women can abuse men too." But they only say that because they know they have to. They don't admit it because admitting it would mean that they wouldn't be able to abuse their husbands anymore. Husband-beating at the hands of a wife is typically more psychological in nature and is, for some reason, widely accepted as necessary. The consensus seems to be that men are heathens and wouldn't be able to function without women. Reality is that women just want slaves and invent this whole narrative about how men need women to tell them what to do. Adam wrote about our experiences on this subject in a post titled, "Don't Stay with Family" on 02 September 300,023. Seen here (search "Don't Stay with Family" to skip to it):https://www.inventati.org/1337gallery/musings.html At one point, the city woman said, "this is soooo helpful to us," and I didn't say it aloud, but I thought in a sardonic tone, "I bet it is..." Next time I see a bitch with a clipboard, I ain't stoppin'. |
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